I'm in a rut. Life has been more disjointed and haphazard recently. I think I've been feeling behind and more disorganized than usual...and the combined effect is a paralysis of sorts.
What I'm learning ever so slowly, is that my responsibility lies is many small moments of obedience...obedience to the small things the Lord calls me to each day. When my focus is plagued by worry, fear, and anxiety about the future, I too-quickly succumb and find myself trapped in moments of disobedience. My joy dissipates until it's unrecognizable and I begin to wander somewhat aimlessly through a fog of doubt, unclarity and weariness.
I found myself in such a place this morning as I faced a looming 'to do' list, kids that had awoken too early, and a generally grumpy disposition. And then the Lord gently led me into a different place when I opened his Word to 2 Corinthians and read these words...
For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.
So we do not lose heart.
Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:15-18 esv
And now I'm doing my best to serve and love and take captive each moment...paying less and less attention to the temporal, transient things and relying on that grace extended in a way that increases thanksgiving. As it turns out, when I pursue this way of living, all the stuff that so quickly brought me to my knees in a fit of worry doesn't seem so important after all. And I find I have more time to spend on my knees in thanksgiving to the glory of God.